Washington – Fitness trainers are scratching their heads over the case of John Doe, who in six months of fitness training hasn’t managed to lose a single pound. In fact, he’s gained 100!
“It just doesn’t make any sense,” Doe said. “I’ve been at the gym for three hours per day. It’s not like I haven’t been doing the work.”
Doe’s trainer confirmed his participation: “He’s been working very hard. Lifting weights, hitting the treadmill, stretching, sauna – you name it. I just don’t understand how this has happened.”
To attempt to get to the bottom of the mystery, reporters followed Doe on a typical day, which he did, in fact, begin with a vigorous workout at the gym.
They did a double-take, though, when immediately after, he stopped by a restaurant and ordered 10 orders of French fries, explaining that they all were for him.
“They told me that the only way to lose weight and keep it off was eating right and extra fries,” he said. “I’ve been doing exactly that. I don’t think they know what they’re talking about.”
“What?” he continued. “Exercise? Not extra fries? Never mind. I think I’ve solved the problem.”