Washington – John Doe from Washington has been caught on camera to be injuring numerous people with his truly terrifying dance moves.
This particular criminal is notorious for suddenly breaking into a dance while doing something absolutely ordinary, such as standing in line at the grocery store, and injuring innocent people by shoving them roughly with overzealous dance moves. He currently seems to be in hiding.
During the questioning of his friends, one person reported: “John claimed that his dangerous dancing was uncontrollable…that it wasn’t his fault. But I think he had sinister motives.”
The police will be looking into this case in order to figure out whether or not this man will be sent to prison or not.
“It was horrible”, a wounded victim reported to our microphone. “I was just at the bank, wanting to pay my bills, and then all hell broke loose. He was dancing, moving his hands all around and pushing people in every direction with surprising strength. Then he started twerking, and…”. The victim trailed off, trying to fight back tears.
This is, without a doubt, one of the most frightening criminals of this decade, and anyone who learns about his whereabouts should inform officials immediately.